(AU) Eleven's Regeneration
by whovianmaniac
Summary: As the title says. Very short.


**Author's Note:**

**Song-fic – Demons by Imagine Dragons**

**Okay, this isn't exactly like the song Demons, but it's very loosely based, just some lyrics sneaked in at the right places. Oh well.**

**(This is a sort of AU fiction about the Eleventh Doctor's regeneration. Kinda depressing, I apologize haha)**

* * *

I stare up at the sky, looking up at the stars. My kingdom is a sad one. It's full of danger and surprises, but so much loss, oh, so much loss. Nobody cares; nobody sees the beast that lies inside of me, making me feel like my two hearts aren't beating but empty and cold. Four beats, two and two. It's like proof that I don't need another one in my life. I can't protect anyone else beside myself; it's too hard. They always get hurt, no matter what I do.

Rose, oh, my sweet Rose. Lost to a better version of myself.

Martha, the girl who broke because of my ignorance and left because she was smarter than everyone else.

Donna, who saved the universe so many times and can't remember at thing.

Wilf, who went to unimaginable heights for his granddaughter's safety and for my own, and who was the one I sacrificed myself for.

Mickey, who gave Martha what she wanted – adventure with someone who can love her back.

Captain Jack, the impossible, flirtatious man.

Amelia Pond, the girl who waited.

Rory, the Last Centurion, who waited two thousand years for the girl he loved.

And then there was Clara, the mysterious girl, yet another enigma.

Another four hundred years have passed, without any other regeneration past my eleventh. I've grown old, already 1507 and over a thousand in this body. My fire has grown redder, sadder, and when I look at my eyes in the mirror these days, they are black. I can barely remember what warmth feels like. Regeneration can't be far off, because I need a fresh start.

It's a lonely life, now. The last time I visited River Song in the Stormcage was fifty years ago. My time with her has run out – I've visited her so many times that all of the slots are nearly gone. I need to save them until the very end.

Amy and Rory are long gone, as is Rose – from this universe, at least. I saw Wilf about a hundred years ago, but he didn't know, because I couldn't just go up to him and tell him I'm the same man, because I'm not, not really. On the inside, I'm the same, but bits and pieces, my outside shell and my body, are different. I have too many shields, too many spikes and rough bits. Nobody has looked inside of me for a very long time.

Vastra, Jenny, and Strax are all good and well, but they don't need my help anymore. They make a good group, they do. Captain Jack… well, he'll be fine, with his team and his vortex manipulator. I wonder how old he was when the Headless Monks got to him. Probably well over three thousand.

Today, just like any other day, I'm on my isolated asteroid, coated in apple grass and jasmine flowers, only a hundred meters long. The TARDIS, my only constant companion besides my endless desolation, hums happily at my side, just as old as I am, but nowhere near as weary.

_Do you see what I am, old girl? Do you see the demons resting inside of my soul when you look into my eyes, into my heart? Don't get sucked in; you're the best thing in my life, miss TARDIS, and I can't loose you, too. Be careful._

The TARDIS hums sadly this time, and I feel her putting a mental hand on my shoulder, embracing me in her comforting warmth. I've been cold for so long, hundreds of years, and the ice on the outside hides the dark flame in the deep pit of my soul. My beloved TARDIS looks inside of my eyes and sees that crimson fire and instead of running, she reaches into it and it ignites in golden flame, and I feel tears running down my cheeks for the first time in nearly five hundred years. It feels so good to let it out.

_I've been hiding for to long, haven't I?_

The TARDIS whirrs in agreement.

_I've made such a mess of things. The only reason I'm still here is because of you, you sexy thing. It's so dark, so infinitely dark, my fate, and I thought the threads of my fate were tangled forever, and I couldn't escape, but you're showing me how. Please help me._

She reaches further within my soul, and for the first time since she was human on that planet outside of the universe, she speaks to me.

_I can't stay here long, my lovely, beautiful thief. But you know what I am going to do. You need a fresh start. Can I give it to you?_

I let out a shaky breath and stand, waving the stars goodbye and stepping within her blue frame.

_Yes._

A warm tendril of the TARDIS's entity grips the flame of my soul, and the burning red light goes out completely, replaced with white and gold. She holds it tight, and I gasp as I feel the darkness leave my heart. I'm stripped bare, with my hearts exposed to the open air, reborn. I'm coated in golden yellow light, and I shout with joy at the glorious warmth of change. I welcome the pain as I burst into hot flames, my head thrown back and my arms spread out, fingers stretched apart from each other to their maximum. I scream in agony as my body's very foundation is ripped apart and put back together again, but it isn't a bad pain. It's a pain that's long awaited and much needed.

Seconds before the last step is completed, I manage to hold onto the TARDIS's thoughts and smile.

I have only one thing to say about the greatest gift she has ever given to me.

_Thank you._


End file.
